Hello and welcome to Facebook Shartketplace. This is a semi-weekly perusing and musing of Facebook Marketplace garbage that I have found.
I also have decided to make this a writing project, this very well could be a successful youtube video, but fuck videos, there isn’t enough writing on the internet for people to peruse at work. I fully mention that I am completely ripping off the concept of the amazing Cake Wrecks blog, with a dash of the workman like wisdom of a Pat Finnerty.
Lets bring back mother-effing blogs!! RETVRN (If you are nice, I can throw in some pie charts so that when that nosy dude in your office walks behind your desk, it looks like you are doing work.)
Ok, with the pre-amble out of the way, let’s get into it.
So, in my free time (read, futzing on my phone on the clock), I like to peruse sites like Ebay, Facebook marketplace, craigslist etc. Looking for interesting things. I have been bitten by the thrift bug, and you could say it has developed into thriftlyme disease. During this perusal I have noticed over time a troubling trend, the “thrift” part is going away.
What we have is what I like to call “Big Money Side Hustlas” These are guys that you probably know. Guys you grew up with. This is the guy that spent his free time taking free chairs off of the street and out of dumpsters to sell on craigslist. He took something that was being thrown away (best case scenario) or being given away for free (ding ding ding) and made money off of it.
Now, I am not against people being to put bread on the table, but have some fucking class about it eh? Don’t fucking take shit that people were hoping to go to someone who needs it to make a quick buck.
Ok, let’s get on to the actual content of this post.
The word “built” in “Newly Built” is doing a heckuva lot of work in this post. More work than the seller certainly put into scheming up this PC build. This entire thing stinks of a “what shit do I have lying around that I can throw into a brand new PC case?”
Ok, let’s just take a gander at this setup we have here.
Hmm…. CPU is an i9? That is pretty nice.
Wait.. when did the 9th gen intel CPU’s come out? 2018? Was that 2 years before the global pandemic, and 7 years before this Facebook marketplace listing?
Hey Siri, what does “New” mean?
I guess the plastic is still on the case right?
And the boxes come with? Oh damn.
Let’s start with that CPU
What other CPU can you get for the 225$ the i9-9900K?
- Ryzen 7 – 5700X (Approximately 150$ on Amazon)
- Intel 12700KF (Approximately 180$ on Amazon)
- Ryzen 5 – 7600 (Approximately 200$ on Amazon)
These are all excellent, and cheaper more modern options. The Ryzen 5 7600 is even on the currently modern AM5 platform, which means you could put this in a motherboard that could upgrade to the latest and greatest Ryzen 9000 series CPU.
The choice of the i9 9900K is simply because this dude had the thing kicking around, that thing was a beast back in the day, but fuck what were you doing in 2018? Lol’ing at “Big Chungus” memes while watching T-series overtake Pewdiepie as the most subscribed channel? (I want to explode after writing that sentence) The other trick here, is that people who might know a little bit about computers know that “i9” is the fastest version of an intel CPU you can buy. Guess what? They put out new chips every year, and every year there is a new i9, and after a few years… that i9 starts to end up being slower than an i7. Checking benchmarks, that CPU is roughly 16% slower than the 180$ Intel 12700KF linked above. This was chosen, because the seller will think that you will see a big number, and guess “That is a perfectly cromulent CPU!”, when it is most definitely not. He is preying on low information buyers, like mothers, fathers and grandparents looking to buy a “gaming PC” for lil’ Jaxson wanting a rig to become the next Roblox streaming sensation.
Let’s take a break for an RGB Dance Party
You want to blind yourself while getting those Apex W’s? You can do it in all of the colors of the wind.
XMP or not to XMP?
XMP is the intel extreme memory profile, and it allows your ram to run at the full rated speed of, in this case, 3200 Mhz. This Big Money Side Hustla clearly did not know what XMP was, and I would bet dollars to donuts he has no clue what a BIOS is, other than the thing you need to hit the enter key to get past. Without XMP enabled, which is an extremely easy flip of a switch in the BIOS, the RAM is stuck at 2666 Mhz speeds. RAM has been faster than 266 Mhz for over a decade at this point. This feature not being enabled is always a big red flag. I don’t even think you can buy DDR4 RAM that only does 2666 Mhz, especially RAM that has RGB lighting on it. This image is what launched this entire website. I was so incensed by this that I went to namecheap and registered this domain name, and set about to eviscerate this marketplace listing in textual form. This is such a simple and basic thing to do when building a system, that it leads me to believe that this guy either doesn’t know what he is doing (unlikely, as he built this from scraps) or is lazy, and you can’t trust the build quality. XMP is the “remove all the brown M&M’s from the green room” in your concert rider. If the venue couldn’t get that request right, how well is the stage going to be set up? The “insane backstage rider request” clickbait article might very well be missing the point, as often these rider requests are put in to ensure the venue is going to go far enough with the hospitality to prove they are prepared to host the band. If you can’t get an assistant to sort M&M’s, how much do you trust a hastily installed lighting rig won’t fall on Sammy Hagar? XMP not being enabled is the same thing for PC building, if they couldn’t get that right, they probably missed a lot more you can’t see.
But, somehow that isn’t even the worst thing about this build. Let’s continue down the depths of depravity of this build towards the final circle of PC building hell.
Graphics Town
Ok, this is where I can take my foot off of the gas a bit. The GPU chosen for this build, a 6700XT, is not a terrible choice at the mid tier GPU market. The problem I have with it? “New”. The scam here is that the seller is trying to make you think that this PC is “New” It is not new. The clever usage of “newly built” gives him enough clearance to not be accused of false advertising, but the intent here is clear. This setup is 1500$, which is a huge chunk of change for most folks, and also about the reasonable price for an upper-mid tier brand new pre-built. Hell, you can’t even buy a 6700XT new, it has been about 4 years since they came out, and for only a couple of bucks more, you can get a brand new 7700XT for 310$, and that lil beast of a GPU will last you quite a while, especially with the 12G of VRAM that AMD is putting standard on their mid tier cards. Not to mention that Intel’s Battlemage GPU released at 220$ – 250$, with the B580 being a killer deal at 250$, if you don’t buy it from one of the many scalpers selling them for ludicrous mark-ups. Fuck scalpers, don’t pay the ransom, and get something else or wait for them to hold on to their dead stock until intel gets more to the marketplace.
E-waste
Ah yes, a 20$ 60% keyboard. Where we’re gaming, we don’t need dedicated arrow or function keys! We have moved beyond such extravagances. What are we? Royalty? Do we need a webcam capable of better resolution than JenniCam? What about the tiniest mousepad you could ever imagine? With the settings cranked up on that G502 Hero to 16000 DPI, you’ll barely need to flick a finger to macro on n00bs in DOTA. I guess I can’t judge the mouse choice that much, because it is the same one I have, and it is a perfectly serviceable gaming mouse with plenty of extra keys and a nice clicky scrollwheel. I just get kind of icked out around buying a used mouse. I know what gamers do with their hands. This is just pure e-waste, stuff that you don’t want, and the seller doesn’t want, but it changes hands because that is just how transactions are, you have to walk away with some garbage in every deal.
I mean, I was expecting a “decent” visual treat at a minimum. That is all you got Fifine? RGB color spray targeting the bottom of my desk like the rainbow colored spew of a nauseated Unicorn?
With the amount of rainbow colored ambient light coming out of this overpriced shitbox and accessories, I would expect the care bears to show up with a cease and desist crying foul of copyright infringement.
I mean, the mouse does RGB too. What part of this PC doesn’t have RGB?
This is one of those 45$ “Gamer” accessories that costs more simply because it has RGB, if you are gonna spend 45 bucks on a mic for gaming, just buy a decent headset for the same price.
The Rest
The case, as far as I can tell is fine, if not a bit pricey. I suppose it comes with 10.. flippin 10 fans!! A Bo Derek! This is one of those Chinese brands with consonant diarrhea for a name. SZSKYING JICAWZ CANSHN GAMDIAS Which one of those is real? Spoiler – All of them are real (Even the one that has a different kind of link, just google it). This kind of stuff is one of the reasons that Amazon is just such a minefield for buying anything decent these days. I guarantee those affiliate links I posted as a joke (please don’t buy those cases, buy a good one, like the dependable Corsair Airflow series, it is also like 60 dollars cheaper than the consonant salad offering from the far east). The rest is stuff that is hard to make out from the images shared, you got some knock-off AIO 240mm water cooler, a likely knock-off PSU that barely has enough juice to run what is installed until it unleashes the magic smoke when you least expect it.
We have 2 monitors included, which are of an indeterminate brand, resolution refresh rate etc. In some photos we have Sceptre, but in the video shared with the post, one of the 2 monitors is a Samsung of same make. These are perfectly fine monitors for whatever gaming you might want to do with the machine they come with. I would eat my entire hat collection if they were anything above 1080p 144hz. They also appear to come with some sort of 2 monitor swing arm stand? Do they come with the original feet? Do they too have RGB? Also, what about that motherboard… hmm… something doesn’t feel right…
Ok, prepare yourselves, we are heading down to the final level, cover your nose and say your prayers
Please play this before reading
***snrrrfff*** Welcome to my lair! ***hack*** ***cough-cough*** Glad you could make it! You know they call it a “Bargain Basement”, let’s call this the “Deals Dungeon” This is where the absolute worst trash can be found. Hehehe. **hack-spit** Let me show you something just horrible. Feast your eyes on this:
*Cackling Maniacally* Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!!!!
Yes, that is a 4 TB HDD on this “Gaming” PC. **Cackling Intensifies** Is it 7200 RPM? You already know the answer to that question, and I am disappointed you even needed to ask.
Did you not want astronomically long loading times? I strongly believe the aesthetics of this system were designed with these load times in mind. Longer load times means you have more time to gaze upon the hypnotizing RGB undulations while you ponder your purchase. Waiting 43 plus seconds for your Watchdogs 2 save file to load allows you to consider all of the life choices you have made up to this moment. This is something you couldn’t do with loading accomplished in just under 17 seconds on an SSD or NVME SSD. At least you have 4TB of space to fill with games that will take eons to load.
This machine is just a plain old grifter special. I spewed out so many words, and I didn’t even have time to mention that he didn’t even use screenshots to show the performance, but pictures off the phone. (I don’t know if he knows how to take a screenshot) The lesson here is, PC’s are so easy to assemble now, that even people who shouldn’t be doing it aren’t. To your research, and you won’t get scammed.
Grift-o-mometer
Where does this rank on the grift-o-mometer? (I need a graphic for this) The grift-o-mometer is something that we will use to judge how much of a rip-off these posts are.
Let’s get down to the details of this system
Storage – 4TB 5400 RPM HDD – 75$ (probably used)
GPU – 6700 XT – 280$ (March 2021 – used)
Accessories – Atrix Keyboard – 22$ (Gamestop special), Logitech g502 Hero – 30$ (used), Fifine USB RGB retinal blaster / Mic – 30$, Used cheap webcam – 10$
CPU – I9 9900k – 225$ (Oct 2018 vintage)
CPU Cooler – Unknown Chinese 360mm AIO – 60$ (used/new doesn’t matter when she leaks)
Case – SZSKYING Case – 139$ (New! The only new thing here!)
Motherboard – Gigabyte AORUS Pro LGA1151 Mobo – 139$ (used)
RAM – 32 GB RGB 2666 Mhz RAM – 50$
PSU – Unknown likely fire hazard power supply unit – 60$
OS – Windows 11 Key (11$)
Display – 2 Sceptre/Samsung (unclear) Monitors likely used 200$
Useless thing – In case sensor screen – 40$ (I never talked about this, but this is a weird thing to put on a device that might sit under a desk, which is why RGB is so weird to me)
Total this up and you get: 1373.00$ worth of components. You might say, hey! That price isn’t too bad, only 125$ for it to be built for me? Not a bad deal
Well, let’s consider this. There is no warranty, these are all used parts of dubious origin, you already likely have a monitor, keyboard, mic, webcam, mouse etc, so that is 300$ ish bucks in crap you don’t need, not to mention that stupid system status screen, so closer to 340$ in garbage added on to an already out of date system just waiting to end up more behind the times. Buying a used gaming PC off of ebay, craigslist or FB Marketplace isn’t always a bad idea, but you need to understand what you are getting, and how much you should be spending. I would never spend more than 500-800$ on a used gaming PC (depending on the GPU). The most expensive stuff in a gaming PC are the CPU and GPU, and if those are outdated, it isn’t worth picking them up unless they are at a hefty discount.
Grift-o-meter score 90°C out of 100°C
– The Budget GPU choice is good, the case is brand new and comes with lots of fans, and if you need 2 monitors, they don’t look awful, but I would need details on the stats to judge more. Overall this is an incredibly bad deal.
Here is a gallery of other local gaming computer deals that are way more in line with that asking price, or around the 500-800$ sweet spot for used PC’s. The other consideration is, 1500.00$ USD can buy you a hell of an upper mid tier system for brand new from basically any online retailer. CyberpowerPC, Best Buy, Costco, you name it, they got stuff that would kick the teeth out of this 1500$ Grifter special.
Well, I think that is going to end it for the inaugural post. Keep on your toes out there, and dodge those Big Money Side Hustla$. I believe in you.